My son was born at 4:20 PM which I think was the universe's way of saying, "Hey, smoke a J, you earned it"
— Jessica Delfino (@jessicadelfino) September 13, 2016
Help, police, someone is smoking weed outside my window and now I have the munchies too
— MariGari (@marianagarces) September 7, 2016
1 out of every 200 people on here get really upset that I talk about weed. What I'm saying is 1 out of every 200 people have no friends.
— Evan Leslie Jones (@Frodeziac) September 11, 2016
The problem with putting weed out of reach from the child is that it is often also out of reach for me. #HighMom
— (((Alison Klemp))) (@alisonklemp) November 27, 2015
I'm going to make a stoner horror movie and call it: "The Hills Have Red Eyes."
— Jesse Barfield (@JesseBarfieldPi) September 13, 2016
I get constipated every day I don't smoke marijuana, but I should quit. I'm left with a tough choice: Shit, or get off the pot.
— Benjamin Pernick (@BenjaminPernick) July 17, 2014
what if aliens gave the human race marijuana so that we could chill together but we made it illegal
— vibethriller (@vibethriller) September 19, 2016
Life: Your roommates will both be out of town this wee-
Me: I guess it's time to smoke weed naked in my living room and face my mortality!
— Jasmine Pierce (@jasminecomedy) March 27, 2016
Police claim that marijuana is more potent than ever….that's perfectly fine to me.
— Life As A Stoner (@iLifeAsStoner) September 19, 2016
I want to give a stern talking to to stoned me, but we're never in the same room at the same time.
Heh heh. Tutu.
— Killy Dwyer (@killythekid) September 13, 2016
from
http://hightimes.com/culture/toasted-tweets-sept-21-2016-edition/
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