Stoner Sex: Dancer Truths, Showing Love to Your Lady & the Trump Effect

Dear Hyapatia,
I’m a dancer at a gentlemen’s club. I really like my job because I make good money.  My new boyfriend is kinda weird about it. He doesn’t want me to quit, like some others have. Instead, he sort of gets off on it. That’s fine with me, but it’s starting to get a bit out of hand. When I come home from work, he has started asking me about how the guys were toward me, if dancing for them turned me on or if any of the other girls got turned on enough to have sex with a customer – stuff like that. It’s just a job to me. I don’t get sexually excited by it. I get financially excited! – Elaine

Dear Elaine,
I understand. When you do something for seven hours a day, it quickly becomes mundane. It might be smart to sit down with him and get good and high. Explain how it’s just a job and that dancers don’t get sexually excited or pay much attention to the guys. Another option might be to invite him to the club so he can see for himself that there are clear boundaries and that the dancers are focused on work.

It seems what you do is still new to him, so he finds it erotic. Of course, if you’re into it, you could play into his fantasy and let it lead to sex – which is obviously where he’s hoping it will go. But be realistic. If you chose to entertain his fantasy, make sure you tell him the truth about your job at some point. Otherwise, he could start down a jealous road

Dear Hyapatia,
My lady is so sweet and sexy. She’s a stay-at-home Earth mama who takes care of everything while I concentrate on work. Her birthday is coming up and I want to go all out and show her a good time. She’s not the type who wants fancy things. I don’t really know what to do to show her just how much she means to me. I want to make her feel good emotionally and physically to show her how much I appreciate her in my life. Any suggestions? – Damian

Dear Damian,
If she’s a stay-at-home mom, I’m sure she’ll enjoy a night out where she doesn’t have to cook or worry about cleaning up afterward. Get a babysitter for the whole night. Even better, overnight! Book a room at a romantic hideaway. Make her birthday an event! Make sure to get some high-quality weed – several different strains, if you can! Since she loves nature, a plant may be an ideal romantic symbol of showing your growing love. If you don’t know exactly what she’d like, you can’t go wrong with a gift card. Set a romantic scene for her. Light some candles and put on her favorite music. Get some pleasant smelling oils and give her a loving massage. That will lead to great sex, the perfect way to finish the evening.

Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months, but it still feels like a new relationship because I just can’t keep my hands off of her. She is so sexy and beautiful and has a perfect body. There is nothing she can do or wear that hides her beauty and I can’t help but want to show her love all the time. I don’t want her to think I’m just a horndog. How can I make sure I’m not coming on to her too much? – Manny

Dear Manny,
If she’s like most women, she’s flattered by your attention. It’s very kind and considerate of you to be concerned about not making her feel pressured for sex. One thing you can do is to compliment her in a way that is not overtly sexual. Compliment her intelligence or how professional she looks or how talented she is at doing something. None of these are sexual, yet they let her know that you appreciate her. If she wants to move on these compliments in a sexual fashion, you’ve opened the door. You might try following the advice that I provide in my response to the letter above. Make her feel as special as you think she is!

Dear Hyapatia,
All this “pussygate” shit has brought back some bad memories for me. When I was in seventh grade, a kid grabbed my crotch through my jeans when I walked into the classroom. I made the mistake of wearing a dress one day in high school and some jerk grabbed my ass under my dress as I was walking up the stairs between classes. Now I’m having a problem being intimate with my boyfriend. How can I get over this and start enjoying sex again? – Rachel

Dear Rachel,
It’s a sad fact that you’re not alone. Many women, including myself, have experienced these things as a young adult or even as a child. One of the best things about weed is that it allows your mind to focus on the here and now. Your experience occurred a long time ago. Remember, it’s not happening now. You learned from the experience. When you’re with your boyfriend, he’s touching you in order to provide pleasure. He genuinely cares about you and wants to make you happy. You know you can trust him. But if this continues to be a problem you may want to consider counseling. Millions of women experience this crap. We can overcome it because we’re incredibly strong. If this ever happens to any woman, be ready to shout out an angry response – something like: “Get your damn hands off me, you dirty, freaking pervert!” This can be very empowering. Cockroaches don’t like a spotlight. If other people are around, they will treat him accordingly.

Last week’s Stoner Sex: Judgemental Buzzkills, Election Friction, New Partners & Work Stress

from
http://hightimes.com/culture/stoner-sex-dancer-truths-showing-love-to-your-lady-the-trump-effect/