Dear Hyapatia,
I’m in a relationship with a very good-looking guy. He‘s super-hot and I love having sex with him. He’s a real gentleman and when we get high and talk at night, he makes me feel like he really understands me. I’d do just about anything to keep him. He has been wanting me to go with him to a sex club he used to go to with his old girlfriend. I’ve never done anything like that before and am pretty shy about it. Do I really need to do this to keep him interested in me? I would hate to think that if I didn’t have sex with him at this club it might mean the end of our relationship. – Donna
Dear Donna,
If he used to go to this club with his old girlfriend, he might have more on his mind than just sex. He may want to show you off or send a message to his ex that he has a new love interest. Be honest with him about your reservations. If you decide to go, be sure you let him know it does not necessarily mean you are willing to have sex. That’s a separate decision, made well after you’ve seen the place and people involved. If he’s the gentleman you say he is, he won’t pressure you. Knowing that sex is not expected, visiting the club might turn out to be not such a big step out of your comfort zone. But as I always advise, don’t consent to engage in any sexual activity that you’re uncomfortable with.
Dear Hyapatia,
You ran a recent letter from a woman who said she felt like she could almost climax just from giving her man head. I understand that entirely, because I feel the same way. When I’m down between my lady’s legs giving her pleasure with my mouth, it turns me on so much that I could almost be satisfied just from pleasing her in this way. The smell and taste turns me on so much, and knowing how it makes her feel makes me so excited that I could do it for hours! I get good and high off of sticky, dank weed. But nothing compares to the high I get when I’m going down on my sexy gal. – Rick
Dear Rick,
I’m sure your lover appreciates your enthusiasm. Many women are particularly turned on by oral sex. It sounds like you’re just what they’re looking for! Enjoy what sounds like a very active and fulfilling sex life.
Dear Hyapatia,
My boyfriend and I decided it would be exciting if I shaved my pussy. For the first few times, it was really great. But then I noticed he didn’t seem to want to have sex with me. After awhile, he admitted that he didn’t like it shaved, so I’m growing it back. In the meantime, I still want to have sex, but he says it turns him off. I don’t want to wait until I have a full bush again to have sex! What can I do? – Kim
Dear Kim,
Hmm … sounds a little selfish on his part. Wasn’t he part of the decision? Anyway, the good news is that it will grow back quickly. There are several things you can do while you’re waiting for it to grow back. Get high before sex, as that always enhances the experience. It will help get his mind off of the obvious. You could keep yourself covered during foreplay or try positions where he can’t see your missing bush. Doggy and reverse-cowgirl are great positions for sex. You can also take extra doses of Vitamin D to speed up hair growth.
Dear Hyapatia,
My boyfriend is really good to me and I love him very much. He’s very sweet and understanding, so I’ve felt comfortable sharing things with him that I haven’t shared with some of my other boyfriends. One of the things we’ve been talking about is the sexual abuse I went through as a young adult. At first, he was very supportive and helpful, but now he says he feels uncomfortable discussing it. When we get high and get to talking, and it’s getting close to time for bed, it just naturally comes up for me. What can I do to help him feel more comfortable talking about it? – Gina
Dear Gina,
A boyfriend isn’t the best person to discuss past sexual abuse with. While there can be times when it’s beneficial for them to know what you’ve been through, few people are equipped to help you heal or process the experience. Think of it this way: if he had been beaten and abused in the past, would you be the best person to help him through the residual trauma? While you’d be sympathetic and supportive, would you know what to say if the topic came up repeatedly? Keep in mind, sex is a vehicle for him to show his love for you. You can see how it might make him feel awkward. It’s certainly understandable that you may need to talk about the trauma, but a therapist is better equipped to help you than your boyfriend. Smoke some nice weed with him and leave the past in the past, knowing that you can discuss it later with someone trained to help you. Allow yourself to enjoy the way he loves you.
Ask Hyapatia all of your questions regarding stoner sexuality. Email her at hya@hightimes.com.
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from
http://hightimes.com/culture/stoner-sex-the-club-scene-oral-passion-shaving-regrets-dealing-with-abuse/
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